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in heaven is there twenty-fours a day, He is entirely confidential and will never reveal your ’weakness’ what hot tears are. He knows about hot choking tears. He still remembers and cares. There may not be another human being that you can open up to, for they may not understand, and anyway you cannot express things in words. But Heaven knows about that problem too. Romans 8:26
‘Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.’ The Holy Spirit takes our yearnings and puts them into language that heaven can understand. Jesus says to us that He understands our
weaknesses and He has had trials just like ours. He bore them all and He can help us do the same.
With this encouragement, ‘let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.’ Hebrews 4:14-16. |
Gradually life changes after a bereavement. At first, there is a numbness, maybe a time of experiencing the same symptoms as the one you have lost. You leave things as they were in the house; the routines do not alter. Maybe you secretly sleep in your spouse’s bed or on their side of the bed. Personal objects of theirs are held closely, for they bring comfort and nearness. At this time you are struggling to remember what the one you have lost looked like or felt like. You feel panic. Photographs do not seem to help recall the real person. Sometimes their smell is what remains in the mind. Slowly an ideal picture of your loved one emerges and the sharp edges are no longer remembered. The mind can be very kind as it heals.
At first, all the images surrounded the time in hospital, the scene of the accident, the message that came to you and more, but then, slowly, these are left behind and the mind turns the clock back to other memories. Some of them bring a small weak smile. This is just the beginning of healing. In between times, the waves of grief sweep over you, but they are shorter than they were. No less intense but manageable.
One day the shock comes that you have been singing to yourself, or planning for your own future without your lost loved one. Maybe you have had a day that you have actually enjoyed, or worse, so it seems, the one you loved and missed so much has not been thought of at all during the day.
You seem to be making a new history in your memory and this involves what you have been doing, not what you both did together anymore. New friendships are developing and new opportunities are there for the taking. |
